Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Chintaks’ Chinta Manch (CCM) analyses BJP's Delhi debacle

Chintaks’ Chinta Manch (CCM), a recently founded NEE (Non Existing Entity) by breakaway chintaks of a leading group of retired chintaks, called an emergency tea-party meeting to analyse the election results of Delhi in which voters mindlessly brought AAP back into the power making Arvind Kejriwal Delhi's chief minister once again. 

Arvind Kejriwal is popularly known as the 'Muffler Man' throughout India. Political opponents of AAP also call him 'Bhagoda' for resigning from CM's post last year over the Jan Lok Pal Bill. 'Bhagoda is a person who runs away from his responsibilities to an unknown place without telling any one. 

CCM claims that it is inspired by Aam Aadmi Party breakaway volunteer group AVAM (AAP Volunteer Action Manch) that played a key role in BJP's defeat by publicizing the alleged dubious sources of AAP's funding in a very dubious manner during the last leg of Delhi Assembly elections.

The CCM held an All India Chintan Baithak-cum-Shivir-cum-Emergency Meeting last night to go into the details of BJP's disastrous defeat and submit it's report to the high command that is obviously feeling low since the outcome of the results. CCM claims that it has not only identified the reasons of BJP’s huge loss in Delhi elections but also quantified them. CCM has tabulated it's report as under :
"In a nutshell “Assuming Delhi Voters are still foolable after 9 months” has cost BJP 67 seats," said the report in it's conclusion.

A spokesperson of CCM told F4Fnews that officially the Chintan Shivir had ended but 'chinta' was likely to continue for a long time to come.
When asked about the date of the next ‘chintan shivir’, he said : "The date for it would be decided in the upcoming regular ‘chintan baithak’ once the present 'chinta' subsides."

When asked about the cost to BJP in financial terms and the drained amount, he said : "As everyone knows, we have absolutely no problem of finance and we never bother about money spent or lost, specially so in election time. However, in Delhi, we are seeing the total loss of money spent." "Let me make it clear that financial matters do not come under the purview of CCM. All financial matters are handled by a 2-member committee at the highest level. Although there is never any ‘chinta’ or ‘chintan’ in the party about money matters, still if they feel and wish that any investigation related to financial cost is required in the present case then they will ask each other to do 'Manthan' and not ‘chintan’," he explained in detail. "It must be realized that it is 'Manthan' that generates money and so, only a Manthan (possibly a reverse one) can through some light as to what went wrong and the quantum of financial cost/loss arising out of it," he added. (with updates as at 7.33 am IST)

Update 2 : 12.47 pm (IST)

We have been flooded with requests to analyse the reasons as to how the BJP managed to get 3 seats in Delhi elections because people cannot believe Kejriwal's tsunami to be so kind to them. There is also a feeling that if we can find answer to this question then there won't be any need to know why they lost 67 seats.

In order to probe this important point, F4Fnews contacted CCM officials for a clarification. According to the Hon. Chairman of the Manch, Barack Obama played a key role in the BJP survival with lots of ups and downs owing to his remarks and advice on religious tolerance. "But eventually when Obama personally clarified that his remarks were not aimed at BJP, the party came in the positive territory with the net gain of 13 seats. Out of these, 10 seats got wiped out due to Sadhvi Niranjan Jyoti's 'Ramzada' remarks. The net gain was thus reduced to three," he said. "For the reasons of simplicity and not to embarrass the Sadhvi, we have not taken into account her contribution to the BJP's loss as she belongs to a small village and even the boss cleared her remarks." "The three seats got by BJP are thus due to Obama. But, you see, we have been strictly instructed not to mention any foreign link in the report," he confessed.  

GD Jasuja : Founder, Faking4Fun 
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