Beware of Fake Messengers of God

Humans living on earth have been advised to stay away from people who claim to be the Messengers of God (MOG). A press release issued by a messenger of God, believed to be a genuine one, has warned that encouraging such fake Messengers of God will only undermine and dilute the supreme authority of the ultimate true God. The release, which bears no date, name of the place or contact details, says : "Our beloved lord is disturbed to learn that certain unscrupulous, inhumane, self-proclaimed godmen, besides the so called "Messengers of God," are preaching and doing things that they have been not only NOT authorized but also can never be allowed to by our kind hearted loving God."

According to the release, a spokesperson of the Alliance of Gods of All Religions (AGAR) has strongly denied that any God has ever objected to be depicted in any form in media (Print, TV, Film) including the newly introduced social media. "All members of AGAR are of the opinion that those living on earth, specially human beings, have been given complete freedom to do whatever they like. We never interfere in their lives in any manner whatsoever. They are being handled by our self-charging, chip-less, particle-sized computer systems designed millions of years ago."

"The matter of fake MOG has come to our notice just by chance. A junior MOG of one of our honourable members, who was on a routine inspection visit to India recently, in his visit report mentioned about the controversial film "Messenger of God' starring some 'Ram Rahim', who is very popular and has huge following in some parts of India as a Godman," the release says. The release has clarified that "AGAR has no comments to offer on the subject but feels little concerned about the growing trend among humans to resort to activities ranging from becoming unauthorized 'Messengers of God' to even faking Gods by claiming themselves to be the Gods.

"Since humans are totally controlled by AGAR network, its members are not at all bothered about humans as their network is capable of handling humans for the next millions of years without any intervention,' said a F4Fnews source who is supposed to be very close to the junior MOG who visited India recently. According to this source, even senior Messengers of God have no access to their bosses and have not much information about the working of the AGAR network.   

Another F4Fnews source, a fake MOG, said (OCOA) : "There is an urgent need for all Messengers of God, whom AGAR calls 'fake,' to come on one platform along with God(wo)men and fight for our right to freedom of expression and action. Unlike AGAR members, we have genuine care for human beings who need our guidance and help to cope up with their fast increasing wealth, declining ethics and morals. With our ancient indigenous approach and modern techniques we can fulfil their unstoppable urge for enjoying the heavenly pleasures." "AGAR's impossible-to-achieve qualifying characteristics for entry to the real heaven and their foolproof highly secure computer network have dashed all the hopes for today's humans to even dream of reaching anywhere near the genuine Messengers of God. They have no alternative but to utilize our services which are promising, exciting and thrilling," he said. "We may not be able to help them to get what they want but we are certainly capable of making them (for)get what they want," he added, admitting the limitations of his profession.

F4Fnews has also come to know from certain unreliable sources - some of whom claim to be the genuine Messengers of God - that an expert committee appointed by AGAR to suggest ways to enhance safety of their network from hacking skills of humans has recently submitted its final report. Very soon, AGAR is going to implement some of the key suggestions highlighted in this report. If these sources are to be believed, AGAR will provide a unique Human ID (HID) (yes, the Godly version of Aadhaar) to all humans from earth through a direct message from the Chief Messenger of God.

A specimen of the message which is expected to be sent on April 1, 2015 by the Chief Messenger of God from AGAR HQ has been leaked in yet to be inaugurated magazine AllThingG (All Things God related, planned to be published by your favourite F4Fnews channel). A number of prominent scientists, whom we talked about the possible technology used in this message said : "Though it was difficult to get any clue regarding its origin and the technology used, this message would go a long way in our quest to establish contact with aliens living in other planets and also in locating whether there exist human species on other plants, too." 

F4Fnews did try to establish contact with some members of AGAR for comments but could not succeed. However, a senior officer working in AGAR HQ on projects, not known even to him, helped us to have a 3-minute chat with a senior Messenger of God responsible for all humans living in the Earth’s European regions. When we asked him about the reaction of AGAR members to the recent terror attacks in Paris by the followers of a particular religion who were angered by Charlie Hebdo cartoonists, the MOG took a deep breath and told us in a very hush-hush voice “To be very honest, I would like to tell you one thing. Please don’t name me in your report,” he continued… “All members of AGAR without any exception are fed up with humans living on earth. They have decided never to look on earth which, in any case, is doomed thanks to humans’ animal like living. AGAR members have unanimously decided to provide very restricted services only to those humans who really have humanly qualities and wish to relocate to other planets.” “No AGAR member wants to be seen linked with humans living on earth in any manner whatsoever,” he added. (updated on January 17 to include trends in Europe)

GD Jasuja : Founder, Faking4Fun 
(Don't) Follow us on Twitter @F4FNews at your own risk
News items on this website are manufacured in the writer's own in-house plant for his own captive consumption. No Rights Reserved, or Unreserved. F4Fnews.com