New Delhi, June 7, 2026 – In a move that has left financial analysts scurrying for cover and opposition parties feeling a little… bugged, the State Bank of Cockroaches today proudly issued a massive cheque of ₹15,500,000,000,000 (Fifteen and a half lakh crore rupees only) to the Cockroach Janataa Party (CJP).
The cheque, issued with “Lifetime Validity” and bearing the official seal of the bank’s most distinguished six-legged signatory, is being described as a “symbol of unwavering support for the party that truly represents the common roach on the street… and the wall, and the kitchen counter at 3 AM.”
Speaking at a press conference held in a discreet crack in the wall near Tilak Marg, Bank's nominated Chairman Cockroach B. L. Roach said, “We cockroaches have survived nuclear blasts, climate change, and even that one spray that claimed to kill us in 7 seconds. Today, we invest in the one institution that matches our resilience — the Cockroach Janata Party. This isn’t just a donation; it’s a commitment. When the lights go out, we multiply. When the government forms, we multiply even faster.”
In a scene dripping with emotion, CJP National President and the party’s perpetually predicted Prime Ministerial candidate, Cockroach K. Roachwal, tearfully acknowledged the generous cheque while surrounded by his loyal party workers furiously waving tiny tricolour flags.
“This truly generous contribution brings us one step closer to our glorious vision of ‘Sabka Saath, Sabka Vikas… aur Sabka Kitchen Access’,” he declared dramatically. “With these funds, we promise to fill every Indian household with the same unstoppable spirit that defines us. And yes, we will finally fix that one leaky pipe in Delhi — our sacred ancestral breeding ground since 1947.”
Roachwal then added, with touching sincerity, that he had only seen the cheque on social media so far and was really hoping it would actually reach his office one of these days.
When asked about the sheer astronomical size of the amount, party treasurer Cockroach Antenna Singh quipped, “Look, in politics you need big money to make big changes. We’re not just talking small change here — we’re talking roach change. Fifteen and a half lakh crores should be enough to run a smooth campaign, pay for some very important ‘outreach programs’, and still have enough left for emergency snacks.”
The bank’s important note on the cheque clarifies that the funds are subject to “successful registration” and can only be used once the party comes to power at the Centre. Until then, the money, if any, will apparently be stored safely in a giant collective savings account located somewhere behind the fridge. Most of the funds are planned to be extorted and deposited in the bank by the millions of Cockroaches once the Party comes to the power.
Financial experts, after recovering from their initial shock, described the donation as “bold,” “unprecedented,” and “possibly the reason the stock market just developed an itchy feeling.”
The State Bank of Cockroaches reiterated its commitment to transparency, promising that every rupee will be used responsibly — or at least as responsibly as one can expect from an institution whose logo is literally a cockroach wearing a suit.
For more information, contact:
The Public Relations Department
State Bank of Cockroaches
(We don’t have a phone. Just leave the light on. We’ll find you.)
Conceptualised and Issued by:
GD Jasuja, Ahmedabad
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. All characters, names, incidents, and events mentioned in this press release are purely fictitious and imaginary. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or to real events and organisations is entirely coincidental.
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