Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Indians to get Free Ray Ban Eyewear to see 'Acche Din'

Prime Minister Narendra Modi, along with his top ministers, has worked out a grand Programme to celebrate his government's one year in office. The celebrations started with Modi's mega rally in Mathura on May 25.

Narendra Modi has already declared that 'Acche Din' have arrived but his opponents are not able to see the good work done by his government during the past one year.

Most opposition parties have criticized him calling his claims as blatant lies citing the rising prices of all commodities, unemployment and decline in foreign trade. Even many of his own party men are amazed at Modi's claims. One such top leader told F4Fnews (OCOA) : "We know our Saheb's style and how he convinces common man about his achievements without even achieving anything. He has a tremendous faith in his top-secret Gujarat model which no one in the country knows about." Another Modi fan told F4Fnews : "Goddess Saraswati resides on Modi's lips and he can achieve whatever he wants simply through his speech, a quality no other politician possesses in the country."

The magic of Modi's style seems to be working. Modi's claim that 'Acche Din' have arrived has created a great confusion in the country among the people opposed to Modi including those who are expert economists and intellectuals. They are reassessing their opinion whether Indians are really not having 'Acche Din'. Modi's supporters, on the other hand, who know the reality of the situation, are keeping mum as they cannot risk displeasing their 'Saheb.' Such people include bureaucrats, ministers, party leaders, industrialists and others who have huge stake in Modi's successful completion of his present 5-year term.

One of the senior most officials in the PMO told F4Fnews (OCOA) that Modi has already put to execution of his master plan to prove his claim that 'Acche Din' have, indeed, arrived. If this official is to be believed, an order of 100 million pairs of Ray Ban goggles, with green glasses, has already been placed for supply to India by unidentified importers with a plan to distribute free among those who have taken PM's Suraksha Bima Yojana (PMSBY) and Jeevan Jyoti Bima Yojana (PMJJBY) - the two super hit mega schemes launched by the Modi government. We have learned that there is a huge rush for these schemes and banks are asking people to apply after 10-15 days. Therefore, it is highly likely that people who are kept waiting for these schemes may be given priority in allotment of free goggles.

F4Fnews has so far failed to get the details of people associated with the Goggles Project. But we have learned from some highly placed unreliable sources that the idea is to provide a kind of 'third eye' to the general public and to those who oppose Prime Minister so that they can see the 'Acche Din' the way PM himself is able to do. A top BJP sidelined leader (OCOA) commented, and we quote : "Lord Krishna gave Arjuna 'divya chakchhu' (divine eye) so that Arjuna could see Krishna's real form. Similarly, our Narendrabhai wants to give a pair of Ray Ban green goggles to every one so that they can see his 'Acche Din'"

"I hope that very soon the mystery behind Modi's 'Acche Din' claim will be sorted out as per his plan and the country will move forward to achieve 'Bahut Acche Din' under the leadership of our magical PM," he added.

So far we have not been able to reach out to the Euro 7.6 bn, 77,000 employees Italian Luxottica Group - owners of the Ray-Ban brand - for the confirmation of the Indian order. But according to the rumours doing the rounds, the delivery is going to start before the arrival of the monsoon and the eye-wear technology used in manufacturing the special series goggles is based on Virtual Reality created for the specific purpose to show 'Achhe Din' even if the actual reality is not so.

F4Fnews writer of this piece, however, has decided not to accept any Goggles from anyone. Instead, he wishes to use the two naked eyes given to him by Lord Rama.

GD Jasuja : Founder, Faking4Fun Twitter : @gdjasuja
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News items on this website are manufacured in the writer's own in-house plant for his own captive consumption. No Rights Reserved, or Unreserved.

(OCOA - On Condition Of Anonymity)

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